The stairwell was a little cooler and more strongly built, but it was still a scene of death. By chance a cop had been visiting the surgery, he was now lying face down on the floor, holstered gun by his side. Dave pocketed the weapon, you just never know when such a thing might come in useful. Running down the stairs, he got to the parking level. All the lights were out, and his Zippo didn't cast much gleam, but he managed to find his Harley. For Dave, the second half of the twentieth century had been a time of technological regress. He had always shunned electric starter motors, and now was his vindication. EMP would have taken out all the other vehicles. He kicked the stick, and his pride and joy roared to life. Old faithful, just like the geyser. His headlights glared , and revealed a probable homosexual slumped in a dead Prius just opposite. "Would it kill you to buy American?" Dave muttered under his breath.
Time was short, but Christian charity is a wonderful thing, and even now our hero was moved to render whatever assistance he could. He dismounted, and moved cautiously to the traitor's pathetic excuse for a car. Through the window, Dave could see "The New York Times" in the likely sodomite's lap. The headline proclaimed "Health-Care passed through House-Senate reconciliation: 53 senators can't be wrong!" A fitting epitaph for the noble American experiment. That must be why the federal government dropped the nuke! Dave realized in a flash.
The near-certain fairy stirred. He was half-conscious, and badly burnt but babbling. "Change, change we can believe in. I voted for change!" "Yeah, and how's that working out for you friend?" Dave asked quietly? The fancy-boy opened his black, soulless eyes, and saw the conservative. He started to laugh. "Well I'm done for", he rasped, "but at least you'll die too, even if you can get out of here. Cancer from this bomb's radiation will finish you off, Obamacare 'll make sure of that." His face seemed to be overwhelmed by pain from his burns for a minute, but he whispered, "The America you knew is already over. We've won!"
At this Dave had to laugh too. There was really nothing else to do. He laughed big, hearty gaffaws. The dry, analytical part of his mind, warned him there was a tinge of hysteria in his voice, but he couldn't help it. "Cancer," he shrieked, "Cancer from the bomb! Well just tell that radiation to get in line!" Dave took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and lit up. The dull, familiar pain in his chest was beginning to burn again. "I'm already dying of lung cancer! Friend, when it comes time to reap the soul from my body, only horseman that's gonna do it's gonna be the Marlborough man!"
The now-confirmed sapphic had lapsed again into unconsciousness, and clearly he wasn't going to make it. Dave swung his legs over the saddle and roared off into the smoke.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Dave and Henry Kissinger
Ok guys first of all, big shout-out to my brothers and sisters working tirelessly in every city you can name in the contiguous 48 plus Alaska. From Seattle to Washington .D.C., Miami to El Paso, they never give up hope, their energies never flag. Whether it's town hall meetings in Olympia, rallies in Chicago, or just organizing internet campaigns out of small-town USA, these patriots fight, struggle, and yes sometimes die, all the way across this vast, eternal, God-given Tea-party Nation. And if by chance we should give up the fight and say it's all too hard, or if the enemies of the light should triumph? Well let's just see what life would be like under ObamaCare.
The strange hum of the CAT scan machine shut off abruptly, and Dave was plunged into darkness. Startled out of his reverie, he sat up, just before realizing where he was, and bumped his head on the low, curved ceiling. The curse words were barely out of his mouth when the red emergency lights sputtered to life. Somehow the hellish, dusky gloom accentuated the CAT machine's coffin-like appearance, and Dave fought back a rising tide of claustrophobia. Firmly, and contemptuously, he suppressed the moment of irrational weakness, but resolved to get out anyway, clearly the scan was over.
Dave had no sooner completed the thought when two things happened at the same time. The whole lead-lined concrete room shook from a sound like a thunderclap, and the emergency lights winked out. "What the hell is going on?" wondered Dave. Groping toward his jacket, he felt for his Zippo lighter, nestled snugly in a pocket. He was getting out out of here, something was very wrong. The room was heating up now, and Dave scrambled for the only door, but found the electronic access panel dead. Snarling, he reached for a steel chair and began using it as a club to break the lock. It was strong, but made in China - and to keep people out rather than in, ultimately no match for an old cagefighter. With a snap, the
lock broke. Dave pushed the door open - and stared at the vision of hell which confronted him.
What had been a peaceful doctor's surgery waiting room just minutes ago was now a burning wreck, ghastly corpses strewn everywhere. Everything was on fire, and of the cadavers not completely burned to a crisp, Dave could see by the contortions on their face that death had not been pleasant. The building was utterly destroyed. Through gaping holes in the walls, he could see buildings aflame half a mile away, burning so fiercely they shone through the atomic cloud. Judging from the scene of devastation before him, and the long lag between the initial EMP burst and his "thunderclap," this had to be a big one, a hydrogen bomb. He had to get out of here, the radiation would kill him. Automatic fire suppression sprinklers had kicked in, cooling the air somewhat, but the toxic fumes were choking. Wrapping a cloth over his mouth, Dave crawled toward the fire escape.
The strange hum of the CAT scan machine shut off abruptly, and Dave was plunged into darkness. Startled out of his reverie, he sat up, just before realizing where he was, and bumped his head on the low, curved ceiling. The curse words were barely out of his mouth when the red emergency lights sputtered to life. Somehow the hellish, dusky gloom accentuated the CAT machine's coffin-like appearance, and Dave fought back a rising tide of claustrophobia. Firmly, and contemptuously, he suppressed the moment of irrational weakness, but resolved to get out anyway, clearly the scan was over.
Dave had no sooner completed the thought when two things happened at the same time. The whole lead-lined concrete room shook from a sound like a thunderclap, and the emergency lights winked out. "What the hell is going on?" wondered Dave. Groping toward his jacket, he felt for his Zippo lighter, nestled snugly in a pocket. He was getting out out of here, something was very wrong. The room was heating up now, and Dave scrambled for the only door, but found the electronic access panel dead. Snarling, he reached for a steel chair and began using it as a club to break the lock. It was strong, but made in China - and to keep people out rather than in, ultimately no match for an old cagefighter. With a snap, the
lock broke. Dave pushed the door open - and stared at the vision of hell which confronted him.
What had been a peaceful doctor's surgery waiting room just minutes ago was now a burning wreck, ghastly corpses strewn everywhere. Everything was on fire, and of the cadavers not completely burned to a crisp, Dave could see by the contortions on their face that death had not been pleasant. The building was utterly destroyed. Through gaping holes in the walls, he could see buildings aflame half a mile away, burning so fiercely they shone through the atomic cloud. Judging from the scene of devastation before him, and the long lag between the initial EMP burst and his "thunderclap," this had to be a big one, a hydrogen bomb. He had to get out of here, the radiation would kill him. Automatic fire suppression sprinklers had kicked in, cooling the air somewhat, but the toxic fumes were choking. Wrapping a cloth over his mouth, Dave crawled toward the fire escape.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Obamalypse
The wide eyed Student is now a world weary cynic.
The Teacher is but a memory.
The Grandson follows in his forbear's footsteps.
The mission? Same as always.
Dave and Henry Kissinger (junior) Liberate the Vaginal Orgasm.
Coming soon to a blog post near you!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Best Wedding Ever
From Wellreadhead. What a fantastic way to walk down the aisle. Such a vibrant celebration life, and love. Congratulations to the happy couple! May all the days of your union be as fun-filled as the first.
Update: Guess I spoke too soon. Although technically, my blessing was fulfilled.
Update: Guess I spoke too soon. Although technically, my blessing was fulfilled.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A surprise from Garret
Wow. I never knew he had it in him. Good on him. I still think he's a pretty pathetic environment minister, but slightly less so now.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Still not good enough.
So William Calley is sorry for the My Lai massacre.
He says "I feel remorse for the Vietnamese who were killed, for their families, for the American soldiers involved and their families. I am very sorry.'' Note the passivity in his description. He doesn't say "I apologise for the fact that I am a mass murderer," he is just expressing regret for the fact that something bad happened. Well anyone can do that. He is sorry for the American soldiers involved; you know, the ones who took evident delight in killing hundreds of old people and children.
This is not good enough. The man's punishment was 3 and a half years of house arrest. That was not good enough. The absolute least he could possibly do is go back to Vietnam, meet the relatives of those he murdered, douse himself in petrol and go from house to house asking for someone to strike a match. Even then he wouldn't have paid his debt.
He says "I feel remorse for the Vietnamese who were killed, for their families, for the American soldiers involved and their families. I am very sorry.'' Note the passivity in his description. He doesn't say "I apologise for the fact that I am a mass murderer," he is just expressing regret for the fact that something bad happened. Well anyone can do that. He is sorry for the American soldiers involved; you know, the ones who took evident delight in killing hundreds of old people and children.
This is not good enough. The man's punishment was 3 and a half years of house arrest. That was not good enough. The absolute least he could possibly do is go back to Vietnam, meet the relatives of those he murdered, douse himself in petrol and go from house to house asking for someone to strike a match. Even then he wouldn't have paid his debt.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Question Time
I know I know, I shouldn't waste my time. But when I have a shower, I usually turn on the radio, and if question time is on, that's what I listen to. I mean, I can hardly change the station can I? I have wet hands.
Lately they have been talking about renewable energy. I would in all seriousness like to know how many members of parliament have completed high school physics.
One guy (didn't catch the name, or the party) was talking up the prospects of Mackay Sugar's co-generation plant. "It produces 266 000 Megawatts a year" apparently.
Another person (from the Opposition), was warning about the cost of solar and wind energy. "Coal fired electricity costs 3c per kilowatt hour (at least this guy was dimensionally correct), whereas solar and wind cost between 5-8c per kilowatt hour. Therefore, if we switched entirely to wind and solar, electricity costs would go up by 100-200 %. Can the working families of Australia really afford that?" Well that's very interesting, because working families currently pay between 10-12c a kilowatt hour. The difference comes from the fact that there is a lot more to the electricity grid than simply production. Transmission, billing, marketing and general business administration-not to mention profits- all have to take their cut. All these costs are likely to be the same (or possibly less for transmission due to local production) under a renewable energy regime. I don't think the guy was being disingenuous mind you, just ignorant.
Lastly there was July Bishop claiming that solar hot water systems were not "an energy generation system," but merely "an energy efficiency-displacement measure" and hence should not be regarded in the legislation, or included in the renewable energy mix. Does July Bishop actually understand the difference between electricity and energy? If she doesn't, then does she claim that gas fired water heaters are also merely energy efficiency-displacement measures?
Now, I don't usually like to be a pedantic nerd about physics errors, but in cases like these it really matters. The people running our country don't understand how the natural world works and this is a big problem. Solar hot water is the most economically efficient carbon displacement technology we have and its prospects are being endangered by someone who doesn't understand science.
I should really spend less time in the shower.
Lately they have been talking about renewable energy. I would in all seriousness like to know how many members of parliament have completed high school physics.
One guy (didn't catch the name, or the party) was talking up the prospects of Mackay Sugar's co-generation plant. "It produces 266 000 Megawatts a year" apparently.
Another person (from the Opposition), was warning about the cost of solar and wind energy. "Coal fired electricity costs 3c per kilowatt hour (at least this guy was dimensionally correct), whereas solar and wind cost between 5-8c per kilowatt hour. Therefore, if we switched entirely to wind and solar, electricity costs would go up by 100-200 %. Can the working families of Australia really afford that?" Well that's very interesting, because working families currently pay between 10-12c a kilowatt hour. The difference comes from the fact that there is a lot more to the electricity grid than simply production. Transmission, billing, marketing and general business administration-not to mention profits- all have to take their cut. All these costs are likely to be the same (or possibly less for transmission due to local production) under a renewable energy regime. I don't think the guy was being disingenuous mind you, just ignorant.
Lastly there was July Bishop claiming that solar hot water systems were not "an energy generation system," but merely "an energy efficiency-displacement measure" and hence should not be regarded in the legislation, or included in the renewable energy mix. Does July Bishop actually understand the difference between electricity and energy? If she doesn't, then does she claim that gas fired water heaters are also merely energy efficiency-displacement measures?
Now, I don't usually like to be a pedantic nerd about physics errors, but in cases like these it really matters. The people running our country don't understand how the natural world works and this is a big problem. Solar hot water is the most economically efficient carbon displacement technology we have and its prospects are being endangered by someone who doesn't understand science.
I should really spend less time in the shower.
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